Jun 17, 2016 7:00 AM

The 9 Worst Pop Culture Dads, From Darth Vader to Dr. Evil

Sunday is Father's Day. Spend it being glad you didn't grow up with these guys.

STAR WARS EPISODE VI RETURN OF THE JEDI Darth Vader Mark Hamill 1983

Sunday is Father’s Day, when we celebrate all of the good dads who were there to raise kids right. When we look to pop culture for examples, we can find plenty of warm, caring fathers who gave tough talks about responsibility or gave motivation in times of need. But instead of getting treacly and sentimental, we wanted to highlight some of the memorable terrible fathers who make the real parents look 10 times better by comparison. These aren’t the worst of the worst. We’re not talking about real darkness here. But these are outlandishly exaggerated examples of absent, dismissive, inept, or villainous fathers. The dads who throw comical tantrums, or who keep using kids as cannon fodder in an attempt to rule the galaxy. The dads who would rather tinker with portal guns than have a frank emotional chat, or who want to hold the world hostage with a nuclear weapon instead of hearing about a son’s passion for working with animals. (You know the kind we're talking about.) Here’s a list of our favorite bad dads, from the second-in-command of the Galactic Empire to a run-of-the-mill used car salesman with no respect for book learning.

Nascar driver Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) lives his life based on a statement his absent father Reese (Gary Cole) made while fleeing Ricky’s elementary school Career Day: “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” It’s a terrible piece of advice, one that makes Ricky an arrogant blowhard when he’s a huge success. After his inevitable fall, Ricky learns to race again when Reese reappears. But Reese isn’t cut out for the normal family life. Once Ricky reunites his family, Reese can’t handle the happiness. So he makes a scene at an Applebee’s, flees the restaurant, and reveals to Ricky that he was high at career day, when he imparted the advice Ricky turned into his life philosophy. Whoops!
Royal Tenenbaum’s (Gene Hackman) lack of empathy and subsequent absence as a father is the emotional epicenter for every narrative thread of *The Royal Tenenbaums*. As the father of three celebrated child prodigies—financial whiz Chas (Ben Stiller), tennis pro Richie (Luke Wilson), and successful playwright Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow)—he nevertheless undermines, belittles, and isolates his kids. This disastrous parenting leads to the powder keg of emotion waiting to be ignited at the beginning of the film. Royal’s attempts to bring the family together largely causes his children to recall old wounds, and show how tough it can be to forgive prolonged indifference.

Rick Sanchez, the genius mad scientist representing a warped version of Doc Brown from *Back to the Future*, isn’t necessarily a bad *grandfather*. He takes his grandson Morty on countless adventures throughout various dimensions and universes. But he also keeps Morty around because his grandson’s less-than-spectacular brain emits a certain wave that makes Rick’s genius brain undetectable, meaning he keeps the kid around for his own selfish needs instead of acting as a benevolent mentor. Oh, and there’s the fact that Rick undermines Morty’s father Jerry at every possible turn, and derides his daughter’s marriage as a long-suffering sham. Rick is nearly always correct, but sometimes his painful honesty is just manipulation or emotional abuse.
*Liar Liar* is a perfect, hermetically-sealed high-concept comedy. In it, Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey) is a stereotypical shark—the kind of guy who skips his son’s birthday party to sleep with a partner at his law firm to further his career. Then that same son makes a wish that his father can't lie for one day. After that everything unravels as Fletcher struggles with the truth and reveals just how much he has prioritized professional success and personal satisfaction over caring for his son. But the great twist of forcing Reede to only tell the truth is that when he does hit upon the key emotional catharsis—he deeply loves his son and can’t bear the idea of being separated by thousands of miles—the audience believes it. He's a total bad dad gone good.

Matilda Wormwood (Mara Wilson) is a frighteningly gifted student trapped in a family that values none of her abilities. Her mother, father, and brother just want to eat dinner in front of the television, and ignore her rapidly advancing intellect. But her father Harry (Danny DeVito) isn’t just a mean father, he’s a crooked businessman as well. Plus he’s under FBI surveillance for trafficking stolen car parts. When Matilda confronts her father, Harry reveals the comical depth of his ignorance: “I’m smart; you’re dumb. I’m big; you’re little. I’m right; you’re wrong. And there’s nothing you can do about it.” Thankfully, Harry turns out to be entirely wrong.
Spoiler alert for a 36-year-old film: Darth Vader might be the worst dad in pop-culture history. He abandons his kids. (Though maybe he didn’t know about them? Thanks, *Revenge of the Sith*, for that bit of backstory.) He beats Luke all over Bespin in a lightsaber duel that ends in slicing off his son’s hand. And only then, after keeping his identity a secret from the kid for two films, he drops the F-bomb (you know, "father"). It’s the most iconic twist in American pop culture, and that plot point alone keeps *Empire Strikes Back* at the top of the list as the best *Star Wars* film.

Primarily a parody of Ernst Blofeld, who first appeared in the James Bond film *You Only Live Twice*, Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) is a violent but bumbling criminal mastermind. Yet despite controlling an evil organization holding the world hostage for … $100 billion … and fending off secret agent Austin Powers’ attempts to foil his plan, Dr. Evil’s greatest challenge is being a father to his young adult son Scott (Seth Green). Even group therapy doesn't help. The *Austin Powers* films focus on the secret agent, and later his own daddy issues, but the funniest father/son relationship is certainly Dr. and Scott Evil.
Thanos (Josh Brolin) may not be the biological father of Gamora (Zoe Saldana) or Nebula (Karen Gillan), but he’s a terrible enough stepfather to count here. First, he killed his adopted children’s families before taking them under his wing. Then he had his daughters trained as assassins. *And* he has the gall to describe Gamora as his “favorite daughter” in front of Nebula, right after Gamora proves she’s not loyal to her “father” or his goal of ruling the universe. So yeah, bad dad. Sure, he might be an even worse villain (he's terrible at actually acquiring Infinity Stones, after all), but that's beside the point.

During the first season of *Gilmore Girls*, creator Amy Sherman-Palladino sketched out the backstory of how single mother Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and daughter Rory (Alexis Bledel) came to live in the eccentric northeastern hamlet of Stars Hollow. Lorelai became pregnant with Rory when she was 16, and chose not to marry Rory’s father Christopher (David Sutcliffe). She left home to work as a maid and care for her daughter, while Chris went on to flame out at Princeton. As Chris floats through Lorelai and Rory’s lives, he proves that Lorelai’s decision not to marry him was a good one. He gets his girlfriend pregnant. He consistently disappoints Rory. And even when he makes small strides to get better, it only makes his overall failures loom larger. If there is one character onto which we can heap all of the show’s problems, it’s Chris. At least he's a good scapegoat.

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