Gawker vs Thiel: The Movie
Lights! Camera! Legal action!
ST PETERSBURG, FL - MARCH 08: NY POST OUT Terry Bollea, aka Hulk Hogan, arrives in court for day two of his case against the website Gawker at the Pinellas County Courthouse Tuesday morning Mach 8, 2016 in St. Petersburg, Florida. Bollea is suing Gawker for $100 million for publishing a video of him having sex with his best friend's wife. (Photo by John Pendygraft-Pool/Getty Images)John Pendygraft/Pool/Getty Images
In the last few weeks, the legal feud between Hulk Hogan and Gawker—which recently lost a $140 million lawsuit brought on by the wrestler, after Gawker published snippets of a Hogan-starring sex tape—has gotten deeply weird. Is it as deep or weird as that scene of someone throwing a dog in the ocean during Hogan's 1993 film Mr. Nanny? Yep! Maybe even more so. In fact, the Hogan-Gawker blow-up has had so many twists and turns—including the revelations about billionaire Peter Thiel's plans to secretly bankroll Gawker's demise—that it's probably only a matter of time before Hollywood decides to put together its own version of the saga. Here are our best guesses as to who will top-line Kathryn Bigelow's Gawk-Blocked, coming to theaters June 23, 2018. ("It's the Thiel-good hit of the year!" raves the ghost of Joel Siegel.)
Visual China Group/Getty Images; Ronald Grant Archive/AlamyThe Puppetmaster
THE ROLE: [Total rock-star](http://slim-weight.info/2016/05/three-cheers-for-peter-thiel/) Peter Thiel, the slightly robotic hacker-lover trying to drive Gawker out of town. THE PLAYER: *Total Recall'*s Johnny Cab, the sly robot hack trying to [drive Arnold Schwarzenegger out of town](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGi6j2VrL0o).
Fred Lee/ABC/Getty Images; Peter Macdiarmid/Getty ImagesThe Defendant
THE ROLE: Nick Denton, the silver-stubbled, European-born tabloid titan who's a bit of a careless diss-stirrer. THE PLAYER: George Michael, the silver-stubbled, European-born tabloid target who's a bit of a [careless whisperer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ).
Tim Boyles/Getty Images; Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images For J/P Haitian Relief Organization and Cinema For PeaceThe Wrestler
THE ROLE: Hulk Hogan, the 60-something ring-warrior whose panting escapades have been caught on tape, and who has a penchant for bushy 'staches. THE PLAYER: Mel Gibson, the 60-something road warrior whose ranting escapades have been [caught on tape,](https://www.theguardian.com/film/2012/apr/19/mel-gibson-rant-joe-eszterhas) and who has a penchant for [bushsy 'staches](https://findlaydonnan.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/mel-gibson-asshole-in-disguise.jpg).
Steve Nesius/Pool/AP; Brian van der Brug/Los Angeles Times/Getty ImagesThe Editor
THE ROLE: A.J. Daulerio, the Deadspinning, [ethically iffy](http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a55146/gawker-editor-sex-tape-aj-daulerio/) bad boy editor known for wanting things his way. THE PLAYER: Kevin Richardson, the hit-spinning, effortlessly spiffy Backstreet Boy known for [wanting it that way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg).
Hiroko Masuike/The New York Times/Redux; Mason Levinson/Bloomberg/Getty ImagesThe Other Editor
THE ROLE: John Cook, the [peen-sharing](http://crimefeed.com/2016/03/5-salacious-moments-hulk-hogan-vs-gawker-trial-far/), pro-Gawker enthusiast who's inspired some tut-tutting among his peers. THE PLAYER: John Cook, the green-staring pro-golf enthusiast who's inspired some put-putting among his peers.
HEIKO JUNGE/AFP/Getty Images; Al Seib/Los Angeles Times/Getty ImagesThe Rich Friend
THE ROLE: Elon Musk, the mega-rich [Peter-pal](http://www.metroactive.com/metro/06.11.08/gifs/COVER_PeterThiel_ElonMusk_Paypal.jpg) with a thing for [cruisers](http://static3.businessinsider.com/image/554a992eecad042c35531ed0/elon-musk-it-would-be-great-if-apple-got-into-the-car-business.jpg). THE PLAYER: Seth MacFarlane, the mega-rich [Peter-pal](https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/7593669.jpg) with a thing for [crooners](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yYmXgDGl0s).
James Borchuck/The Tampa Bay Times/AP; Pixar/DisneyThe Shock Jock
THE ROLE: Bubba The Love Sponge, the cartoonish, shock-jock lover-boy whose life was turned inside out. THE PLAYER: Uku the Volcano, the cartoon pocked-rock lava-boy whose life was featured before *Inside Out*.
