The WIRED Guide to Becoming the Biggest Nerd on Campus

Thanks to this guy (or maybe this person or this character), the hoodie is a must-have nerd staple. It's practically a nerd tuxedo at this point. This American Giant hoodie ($89) is the filet mignon of nerd tuxedos. It's so good, it doesn't care if a metaphor doesn't make sense.

For some reason, the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant softball hat---featuring Smilin' Joe Fission---is not available in the real world. But this 'Topes cap ($49) is, and it's awesome.

You don't want to have too many pop-culture references in your wardrobe. Switch it up with this pragmatic jacket. This Scott eVest ($225) number has like a zillion pockets hidden inside it, including one for your dang iPad. You've got compartments to keep your Android device, calculator, and iPhone safely separated, a holster for your bottle of Soylent, and... about five more pockets.

Kangaroos ($30) are the Scott eVests of footwear. At least in theory, because they don't have nearly as much storage capacity. The shoes only have a couple of tiny pockets in them, good for about 47 cents in change, a set of keys, or a USB stick with the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on it.

Of course you need a mechanical keyboard, and CODE's gorgeous matte-black model ($145 - 165) is a masterpiece. It may look understated, but it's about as advanced as a keyboard can get. You can pick from four Cherry MX switch sets, configure the keys via a set of switches on the underside, and turn the keyboard's backlight on or off.

Two monitors isn't cool. You know what's cool? Three monitors. Your peripheral vision will be pleased with this three-monitor stand ($170), which accommodates a trio of 27-inch monitors. That's 81 inches of monitor for your gaming and coding whims.

For some reason, there's no readymade version of a Macquarium. This is a major oversight, one you will eventually turn into your own multi-thousand-dollar business out of your dorm room. But first, you're going to need to build your own. And maybe get some fish.

You were smart to hold out on buying a "hoverboard" until they figured out the whole exploding-battery thing. Segway's MiniPro ($798) was the first post-hover-boom vehicle to earn UL-2272 electrical safety certification, and it adds plenty more unique features: Inflatable tires, a steering system that uses your knees, and the ability to drive it with an app without riding it.

This yo-yo ($47) is just a "yo." It's unresponsive, which means it won't return to your hand automatically. For that, you'll need to learn some binding tricks, which means you'll be the talk of the town with your yo-yo skillz. Don't forget the yo-yo lube.

Gaming without dice is like eating cornflakes without the milk. This one ($12) is ridiculously impractical in most games, but we're sure you can find some way to squeeze a 1d120 roll into your next campaign.