Four years ago, I wrote a spoof on The Morning News about Oscar, as if the statue itself were going online and creating a dating profile. In honor of tonight's Oscars, here's a fun excerpt from the original:
About Me
I'm here to find a great person for a great time. I want to tremble from head to toe. You'll see lots of ads on here saying stuff like "No games!" or "No drama!" Well, color me eccentric then because I love me some good drama (especially the biographical kind). Though many who've had me consider me extremely attractive, I am by no means a mere trophy. If that's the kind of person you're looking for, do us both a favor and move on to the next profile, please.
About You
Above all, you should be gifted. Perhaps you have an original voice or a talent for bringing out the best in others. Perhaps you adapt well, or are a uniquely supportive individual. (Read the rest of the spoof over on The Morning News).
