Psst, Senators: Straight Sailors Already Drink at Gay Bars

On Tuesday at 2:15 p.m., the Senate combines the culture war with real-live war. The National Defense Authorization Act goes up for a procedural vote, and this year's bill instructs the Pentagon leadership to end the military's 17-year ban on open gay service. It's the last legislative stand of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

And it's a pitched battle. Advocates need to collect 60 Senate votes just to make sure that a vote proceeds. If they don't get to 60 on Tuesday, it's not clear when next they can. Failure to get so-called cloture on the bill will most likely mean it gets punted to after the November elections, when several more Republican senators join the chamber, making it presumptively harder to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

The arguments for and against allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military are familiar by now. So in advance of the vote, I asked a friend of mine who's serving in the Navy for his take. He's gay. And, as is common in today's military, his sexual orientation is a non-issue to his shipmates. The outcome of the Senate's actions on Tuesday will determine whether it can finally be a non-issue for the military he serves -- and the country he protects.

Here are his thoughts on repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." He requested anonymity in order to protect his identity until the hypothetical repeal becomes reality.

One thing's for certain during the Senate's debate over the end of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." All the assembled Senators will praise the courage of the men and women in our Armed Forces. Let's talk about that courage.

I don't mean the heroism demonstrated on the battlefield by men like Staff Sergeant Salvatore Giunta, but the everyday courage I’ve seen over the last three years from the Sailors I work with -- virtually all of whom know I am a gay man.

One of the most senior leaders on my boat looked me straight in the eye and told me that he doesn’t care about my personal life. A coworker who I know disapproves of homosexuality looked a security-clearance investigator in the eye and said that she trusts me implicitly with highly classified information. My shipmates have been willing to include me in their off-duty activities (I’ve learned that Japanese strip clubs are very different from American ones) and to try out mine (I’ve taught several straight guys that the gay bars on Neil Road are the only place in Singapore to get a strong drink cheaply).

Before I joined the Navy, I never would have thought that you could demonstrate personal courage by visiting a titty bar. I certainly don’t compare my shipmates’ actions to the bravery demonstrated by our troops on the battlefield. But I know that my coworkers--my friends--value me more than they value their prejudices. I’ve seen them set aside not just "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," but their own fear (of divine judgment), because they value my service as Sailor.

And before I joined the Navy, I never would have thought that a bunch of drunk straight Sailors hitting on overweight lesbians in the gay bar on Neil Road in Singapore had more personal courage than the United States Senate. I hope I won't continue to think that after the vote.

File photo: U.S. Navy

See Also:

• Don't Ask, Don't Tell on Afghanistan's Supply Routes
• Army Comic Taught Troops How To Snitch on Gay GIs
• Gay Bomb: Story Behind The Story