First Five Minutes of Wargames: The Dead Code Makes Swordfish Look Good

What better way to honor the 25th anniversary of WarGames than to watch the opening minutes of the new direct-to-DVD sequel Wargames: The Dead Code?

Actually, there are countless better ways to spend the next five minutes of your life than watching adults playing teenage hackers spouting lines like, "How about a wardrive. We love that!" Trust me. The only winning move is not to press play.

DVD Talk has a review of the film. For the hacker take, Attrition.org‘s Jericho watched the whole movie, so you don’t have too. He shares his raw notes after the jump: mostly a spoiler-laden compendium of the funniest dialog and dumbest moments in what he calls "just about the most horrible computer/hacker flick I’ve ever seen."

R.I.P.L.E.Y. replaces W.O.P.R.

"How about 5 minutes of World of Warcraft?"

"Just traded these hacked credit card numbers to a guy online for a new peer to peer tool — guaranteed undetectable."

FIGJAM = F**k I’m Good, Just Ask Me

"R.I.P.L.E.Y. detected this particular terrorist cell through one of her honeypot sites. Once a player penetrates level five, R.I.P.L.E.Y tags them as a security threat"

Trojan Vendu detected

UTAPATA is the search engine of choice.

http://www.ripleygaming.com (domain parked, they couldn’t even set up a fake site.)

The new list of games has "Global Thermonuclear War" as the second-to-last. The two haxors look at each other and say ‘nah’, opt for the last game "THE DEAD CODE"

"Using traditional firearms, concussion grenades and simple household objects, you will have 10 minutes to deploy biological and chemical weapons, penetrate our security protocols, and exterminate 100,000 citizens. Please select your target area code."

"Philadelphia"

R.I.P.L.E.Y. initiates "Spyware ICE" to backdoor the haxors’ computer.

Biometric fingerprint hacking courtesy of some jelly and a can of soda!

Stephen Falken referenced, along with the ‘original Joshua project’.

Pringles can antenna range extender!

OMG OMG WOPR! Dusty and in Canada, to run a power grid before being converted to a personal chess machine.

A list of IP addresses. But they are tied to CARD BALANCE and dollar amount, or ‘EXPIRED’.

Falken inserts an old-skool 8" floppy disk into WOPR

WOPR screen output: BCKDR KEY: IKJY-JHGDJ-G8675-KEUYTX-8762GEKSII-TRKY EXEC SCRIPT BUKK RIPLEY GRiDLOCK 00S-00D-00RNR ACCESS ROUTINE DIR: #ABSOLUTE_TAKEOVER===001 #JDI_MINDTRICK===01 #MAKE_ME_SWAY===100 #TAKIN_CARE_OF_BUSINESS===011 #PILLOW_TALK===101 #GAME_THEORY===110 SELECT SUB-ROUT 9875954-54326-0002 GO GET HER 645437

RIPLEY has a botnet; haxors will run a Dee Dee Oh Ess against her.

LOGON: Joshua (the new root)

################## ||45-45-F6-3456 NOPR STATUS: TRAK OFF PRON ACTIVE #45:45 || WER: 45/29 XCOMP: 432 YCOMP:349 ZCOMP: 343 ###############################TRON: 65=65/74/84/65/87

===================================== reloading sysop WOPR JOSHUA v0.6b data transfer from network relinking initial mem-banks activating p-synaptic circuits =====================================

GREETINGS PROFESSOR FALKEN.

[some text] 89025734-07 596785097523490 Solved by Victor Allis TARGET: RIPLEY

ENGAGE

ALL-A-BOARD GAMING CHALLENGE LAUNCHING TTT EXTREME SEQUENCE

The lame and ironical finish from WOPR:

YES. THE HUMAN RACE IS FINISHED.

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