"The Art of Seduction... Begins with Knowing Your Own Essence."
This piece of verbal meaninglessness, which could be straight from the script of Zoolander, is waiting for you at the Flash promotion site for the 8800 Sapphire Arte, Nokia's new blingphone. The press release continues in a similarly air-headed vein. For example, while eschewing the traditional shards of Swarovski glass, the phone's main navigational knob is made from sapphire "which intrigues with its strong heritage and coveted appeal."
It's easy to mock. So we'll continue. The leather covering, sourced from East India, comes in "luxurious brown and coffee tones [which] remind us of understated elegance. These are considered a confident and sophisticated color choice for premium products."
Inside, the phone is actually pretty good, as you'd expect from Nokia. 3G, a 3.2 megapixel autofocus camera and an OLED display are joined by 1GB internal memory and a sensor which switches off all sound when the phone is placed face-down.
The Sapphire Arte will cost you €1150 ($1830). Or you could just steal one. It's fingerprint-resistant coating makes it ideal for the jewel thief on the go.
Product page [Nokia. Warning: pretentious Flash]
