Tourist's Guide to Baghdad's Green Zone (Updated)

Baghdad's Green Zone isn't just the epicenter of America's forces in Iraq -- it's also a lovely place to spend a vacation. That's the word, at least, from this "Visitors Guide," which details 20 "local landmarks" throughout this five-and-a-half square mile strip of Iraq's capital. Here's a sample:

Little Venice

*Probably one of the oddest named parts of the IZ [International Zone, or Green Zone], Little Venice is the neighborhood between the former US Embassy complex and the U.S. Chancellery building. It is believed to be nick-named Little Venice because of the many cement waterways, bridges and fountains that adorn its streets and park.
Once the playground of high ranking Iraqi officials and Hussein family members, it is now the private home to the leaders of the current Iraqi government and a number of others who are either associated with the U.S. military or governmental presence. It includes buildings such as Uday’s love palace, with a pool and a big outdoor screen for watching movies; the homes of Saddam’s daughters; and various other large estates all surrounded by fountains and large pools in a park-like setting.
At the far north end of Little Venice is the U.S. Chancellery where U.S. citizens can renew or apply for a passport and do other types of visa business. *

Access to Little
Venice is controlled. A U.S. Embassy ID card or U.S. military ID is required to enter.

Now, the Visitors' Guide -- written in 2006, and posted on the website of the U.S. military's "Multi-National Security Transition Command" -- claims to be "written by tourists for the tourist." (Here's an updated, November 2007 edition.) But the two authors aren't just Green Zone passers-by.

One of the writers, a "Richard H. Houghton III," was the acting country director in Iraq of the International Republican
Institute. That's an unofficial arm of the Republican party, chaired by John McCain, which focuses on democracy-promotion abroad. "A former U.S. Marine Colonel, Mr. Houghton, when not making the world safe for democracy, enjoys rodeo and weightlifting," the Guide says. The other author, Patrick J. McDonald, "completed a one year tour of duty with the 448th Civil Affairs
Battalion... He is Assistant to the
Secretary of State for the State of Washington and is a confirmed war tourist."

Captain Matt Tompkins, currently in Iraq on his second tour of duty, is not at all amused by Houghton and McDonald's piece of literature:

*Military tourism... was one of my biggest pet peeves when I was here last time -- in the Green Zone -- so I couldn't help but be disgusted when I stumbled upon this. The mentality associated with walking around this nation like it's your own little sight-seeing trip stuns me. You look at the backgrounds of the authors - a CA [civil affairs] guy and an NGO [non-government organization] guy - and you just expect better of them. [Since those two groups are supposed to be the most sensitive to local concerns -- ed.] * Instead, every local they saw on their sight-seeing wound up seeing the ultimate in ugly American tourists. How can we claim any credibility in anything we do when they see that this is how seriously we take the responsibility we have assumed by doing what we as a nation have done here, and are claiming to do now.

*I suppose it could be argued that by trying to explain the historical relevance of these sights, the authors are actually encouraging cultural understanding. It could be argued, that is, until you read tidbits like the fact that the 14 July Bridge was named for the 1985 revolution that overthrew the Hashemite monarchy. Yeah, that's right guys -- the Ba'ath Party finally thought to themselves "Hey, you know what? We're in the middle of a war with Iran, we've been running the country for almost 30 years, let's overthrow the monarchy!" *[The revolution was in '58 -- ed.]

Thanks for the efforts you so very clearly expended in your time here, guys. There's nothing like a little understanding.

On the bright side, maybe the Guide will make the Green Zone seem so inviting, it'll encourage some more diplomats to volunteer for duty in Baghdad.

UPDATE: The Guide's authors hit back, hard, in the comments. "Climb down off the sanctimonious high horse," Houghton tells critics. He also e-mails an updated version of the Guide, which among other things, corrects the 1985 error -- and no longer announces that it is"written by tourists for the tourist."

(Illo: NotionsCapital)