DirecTV III: The Phantom Menace

You couldn't have reasonably expected that after being told incorrectly that my dish couldn't get HD locals, and then being told that my receiver was defective that things would go smoothly when the replacement receiver arrived, could you?

First of all, and I should have expected this, the replacement box was a refurbished unit rather than a new one. This filled me with dread. I hooked it up, fired it up, got to the language selection screen and then....nothing. It wouldn't respond to the remote, or to the front panel controls.

Time to call DTV again, a number which I've now memorized. The tech walked me through trying to reprogram the remote, reset the box, etc., until he said what I knew much earlier -- "It appears that unit is dead on arrival."

So, off to the equipment protection plan people, who helpfully offered to send me a replacement -- refurb only. I explained that they had sent me one defective replacement, and I'd like a new unit. Can't do it, I was told. Only the install team can send a new unit, and you'll have to pay shipping and handling. But don't worry, the guy says, I can almost guarantee that the next unit you get will work. Somehow, that's not quite as reassuring to me as he would have liked.

He transfers me to the install team, where they tell me I won't just have to pay shipping and handling, but $299 for the new box. I tell them that's not acceptable. They say that's the policy. I ask to talk to retention.

Explain the situation to the retention rep, who then tells me that he'll be happy to send me a new box -- but the only way they can do that is to send it with a technician. You may recall that when the tech was here, he told me that they don't have the HD-DVRs to install. I ask why they have to send a tech, and he says they have to -- it's not a policy, but there's no option in the computer system just to send a new receiver without a tech.

So, he's coming Wednesday morning. Great, another morning off work.

The recap so far--

• Days without HD locals: 7 and counting
• Calls to DirecTV: 4
• Total time on the phone: 1.75 hours
• Total reps spoken to: 7

I also want to highlight something David wrote in the comments of my last post:

Consider this: You paid up to $299 for the right to lease your DTV receiver. You pay a monthy programming fee, as well as a monthly lease fee. The second you activate your receiver, you're committed to a 2-year contract with DTV. Nevermind that your device didn't work correctly. If you want to leave DTV, you don't get the $299 back, and you have to pay a hefty monetary additional fee just to escape early. Meanwhile, since the receiver is leased, you'd think it would be replaced for free. Nope. You're responsible for the service call, as well as at least the mailing fee for the device. But, sure, if you agree to pay yet another additional monthly fee for the extended insurance plan, well, then you're set. Just think about that for a second. One would think that if you lease a device and it goes belly up, the vendor would provide another device, because you're locked into paying for programming service and lease fees for 2 years. But nope.

David's exactly right here -- if I'm paying to lease equipment here, it's absolutely offensive that the financial burden to replace it is on me, and not the lessor. I hadn't ever but it together in that way, but it's shameful.

Stay tuned. On Monday, I'm calling DirecTV's Media Relations people to get their comments on all of this.