I'm on the plane, finally, after navigating a thousand-person crush or nervous, angry fliers. The calm I described earlier quickly dissipated, after a series of blunders by Delta officials.
TSA guards had the situation pretty well in hand. A deep-voice manager cracked jokes and kept people orderly. "Worst
I've seen in five years," said one guard. But things seemed under control, mostly.
Then, over the loudspeakers, Delta suddenly began announcing final boarding calls - for Barcelona, for Austin, for Cincinnati, for Vegas, and for L.A.
- Travelers, terrified of missing their flights, began to waive their boarding passes in the air, and elbow their fellow passengers aside. Soon,
EVERYONE was on an about-to-depart flight. Tensions rose, as people closed in, tighter and tighter -- all the while, TSA guards ordering shoes off, belts undone, and laptops out. Curses flew in a half-dozen tongues.*
I slipped through - a lifetime of negotiating New York's subways makes me pretty good at coping with throngs. I started walking to my gate, as dozens and dozens sprinted by me. One man ran with an infant, the child's head bobbing violently.
An old couple limped at top speed, their faces frozen in panic.
Austin-bound.
I told the trio of Delta attendants at the Austin plane's gate to stop with all the dire announcements - that they were scaring people, bad. The three looked back at me, silently, with what could only be described as fuck-you eyes. I gave the same speech to the Cincinnati-bound gate crew. Not her problem, she shouted.