Announcing Last Week's Cthulhu Date Contest Winner

Last week's contest asked readers what they would do to seduce Cthulhu on Valentine's Day.

Nancy Armitage, I can't post your reply in its entirety because it was so damn long, but you clearly thought this out in great detail, so you're the winner. You said: "Who wouldn't want those tentacles running around in those private places where only Jesus and our husband are supposed to go?" And described your romantic evening in great detail:

First, we need mood music. One of my guy friends made a CD of his dadscreaming. He found out that he had to install Windows Vista on all10,000 machines in their corporate network. It's like the sound ofultimate suffering.

I don't want him to be a gentleman or anything. I want him to rip theclothes from my body, rend the flesh from my bones an animate my corpsewith his tentacles, making me his little hentai puppet. We wouldtotally tape it too, put it on the Internet so that we can make money!
That way, after he's so totally wowed by my commitment to the darkrealms and brings me back to Rhyleh with him, we wouldn't need to workor anything, because I'd have all that money from Internet porn.

I love it! Don't forget to send your mailing address to tableofmalcontents@gmail.com so we can send you your *Call of Cthulhu *DVD.