A crypto coder is hard at work when one of his biggest fans uses a little social engineering to get past security and, well, express her admiration in a tangible form.
"Just thinking about what you've done for privacy gives me goosebumps," she coos suggestively, separating the dangerous slit in her skirt and giving the cryptographer a flash. "You know what they say about crypto programs -- they have a back door!"
Is it a post to alt.sex.one-handedtyping? The feverish scribblings of a lonely coder? An expurgated scene from Snow Crash?
Nope. The salacious geek-speak is dialogue from the world's first cypherpunk porn flick, Cryptic Seduction, screened for the first time at the regular monthly meeting of cypherpunks in Oakland, California.
About 50 cypherpunks and friends joined co-producers Randy French and Mike Horner at the 13 February screening, held at the "clothing-optional" Edgewater West adult resort.
The paranoid plot line follows the adventures of master cypherpunk Bill Dylan (Horner), inventor of an invincible quantum-computing chip tagged the Desdaemona.
National Security Agency agents are hot on his trail, keeping tabs on his movements and sending a female agent (TJ Hart) to try to charm the chip -- and the pants -- off Dylan.
Not only does Cryptic Seduction have a tech-driven plot, it was written, produced, and financed by cypherpunks and is replete with cypherpunk in-jokes. Real-life cypherpunks even appear in the film, most notably playing a Japanese businessman who refuses a lapdance at the World Wide Women's Strip Club in favor of Web surfing on his laptop.
A geek-friendly storyline combined with plenty of explicit sex is a guaranteed draw for the techie crowd, and the appreciative atmosphere at Saturday's screening was raucous, to say the least. Sounding like an adult version of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the crowd greeted every line of dialogue with geek-speak wisecracks.
A voluminous money shot extracted a fervent "Buffer overflow!" from the crowd, and a shot of an EFF poster in the background of a sex scene earned a rowdy spate of applause. Hysterical laughter greeted actor Rosy Rocket's promise to Dylan that she would "suck his secret key out of him," while groans were the response to an audience member who commented that Cryptic Seduction's actors were entirely too taut, tanned, and toned.
"Those asses were not gotten sitting around coding year after year," she giggled. "If only we all looked like that in real life!"
Cypherpunk and First eCache CEO Steve Schear was just glad to see cypherpunk issues featured in cinema, even satirically.
"This is a lighthearted way of introducing audiences who know nothing of crypto and privacy to some of the issues," Schear said. "Anything that promotes these issues, even in an oblique way, is all right with me."
Mike Horner, veteran of over 1,000 adult features and 21 years in the adult industry, agreed that Cryptic Seduction is a breezy take on cypherpunk issues but insists that the film wasn't made just for a laugh.
"Most of the humor the audience has gotten out of the film is jokes they're making themselves, not things we wrote in," Horner said. "We made this film for all audiences, geeks and mainstream alike. Our movie is totally unique and the interesting thing I see as an adult industry worker is that sex workers and cryptographers share many issues around privacy and freedom."
Co-producer Randy French said he had a simple reason for tackling cypherpunk issues in Cryptic Seduction. "Aren't you supposed to write what you know? I'm a cypherpunk, and I wanted to write about issues which are important in my life."
Adult actress Chantel said her participation in Cryptic Seduction was "really different. I've never worked on a movie with characters who are supposed to be nerds. It was a little weird, but fun."
French just hopes that he's created a film fellow techies will enjoy and rent by the millions. Cryptic Seduction is looking for distribution in the domestic and international markets. A companion Web site will be up and running soon.
"All porn is fantasy," French explained. "The essence of porn is easily-available women. This is the geek version of that, with gorgeous techie girls who not only understand crypto technology but are turned on by the technological expertise of these coders. What more could a geek ask for?"
